Hollywood Week Group Round

Before we begin, two promises:
1)  This post will be significantly shorter than my posts usually are (you should be relieved).  I hope so anyway--  it will be not a play by play (like I usually do)  but just the pieces that I really think are important.
and 2)  I have already seen this episode & heard about this episode and I do have some important things to say... so, read on, and hopefully, enjoy!


We start out the episode with a lot of montages--- clips from contestants flipping out in past years that we've seen 100 times, clips of contestants flipping out from this show that we have yet to see but will see again 100 times--- is it all really necessary?   I can't wait until we see an AI episode that doesn't have any filler whatsoever.


168 contestants are getting ready to do the hardest round ever, and we're guaranteed some attitude and some tears.  They have to pick their groups and do the standard "pick a song from the list and make a routine to perform for the judges on zero sleep"


Future AI contestants, a tip:
When you get to Hollywood, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt this round is the ONE thing you WILL have to do.    You have known some of your fellow contestants for months at this point.  For the love of all that is holy,  would you please have in mind who you want BEFORE they tell you who to pick?  Secondly, can you do us all a favor and learn the words to the songs in the Pop Chart Top 20?   (Or, at the very least,  a song from Glee!) The chances of a song being from there- 99.5%.  The chances of it being the random crap you brought with you on your guitar - 0.3%  (the other 0.2% belongs to the fact that Steven Tyler is insane and it might be some sort of Aerosmith song).  But,  I digress.  You're all morons if you don't prepare.


OH CRAP!  Ken Warwick, you are one saucy little Producer!
He throws them a curve -- they have to have a mixture of Day 1 and Day 2s... NOW I get why this was such a big deal at auditions... remember I said I didn't know how they selected Day 1 and Day 2?  I still don't, but at least now I know why it was important.


A crazy slipped in
Let me get this straight,  Tiffany Rios (aka Stars on her Boobs from auditions) insults everyone, tells all the other contestants how much better she is, and then prances around bitching at all of them for not accepting her into their group?  Wow. She's also wearing clothes that don't fit, and a gray bra under a lace, razorback, top.   Classy.  When did I accidentally flip to Jersey Shore? She's also not a great singer.  But, she's from Jersey, and ends up preying on the country boy Scotty McCreery, to no avail.  She convinces Jessica Yance to leave her well established group of sweethearts to go be crazy with her.
Jessica's either the nicest person in the world or as nutty as Star Boobs.  Or, really wants to go home but doesn't want to "quit" -- her too nice reaction to being cut leads me to believe that last one.  She does seem REALLY nice though.   I love how she says "remember what I told you"  when Snooky starts having diarrhea of the mouth-- I guess she KNEW it was going to happen.


Is it time to gauge my eyes out yet?  Can't I just go watch Skins instead?  At least then the babies are screwing instead of fighting and dissing each other.


Thoughts on "characters" :

There's no "we" in Jordan Dorsey

Newsflash, buddy,  you are not either Usher or Sean Puffy Combs, so stop auditioning fellow contestants.  I know you are from New Orleans and I should love you but you are a cocky SOB. Let me get this straight-- you "audition" people for your group-- reject several of them,  work the others to the bone,  bail on them for another group at the last minute, and then TRASH TALK them?   I am embarrased that you come from my home state of Louisiana.  Seriously, I am.  We are NOT LIKE THAT, I promise.  And you're a piano teacher?  We're letting you teach our youth how to be scumbags?  I cannot discuss enough how much I dislike this guy.  Oh, and by the way, watch him when he bows, he keeps his head up and smiling the entire time (and doesn't actually bow)  it's a sign of lack of humility, in my opinion - I always notice when people do that.

Clint "Jun" Gamboa
You look like a thin William Hung.  Ever since I saw you DJ'ing in your audition tape, I knew you were either a really bad singer or a douchebag.  Or both.   The singing thing unfortunately I think you've got, but you are definitely a douchebag, and you completely and totally prove this as you convince your other team members (even a girl who is practically in tears she feels so bad) to ditch little 15 year old "Like, I'm like, a stickler, for people like, holding their notes"  -  Douche, next time you "fire" someone-- try to not sound like a 13 year old girl, yes?   You should have been cut just for showing your true colors.  You CAN really sing though.


Jacee Badeaux
This kid is a 15 year old boy which makes him a 12 or 13 year old emotionally and maturity wise, or you would think so.  But here, he's just been ditched by the douchy-ist of douches, in the worst way possible, at 2am, and he refuses to say anything bad about the guy!   What a class act!   He may not "look" like an Idol, but gosh, he sure does act like one!  His parents very clearly demonstrate where he learned to be a man, because his momma smiles at him and says "just have fun-- if it doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be."    Amazing how the contestants have latched on to him--  they cheered him and booed Clint Douchboa.  (Can you imagine how difficult it's going to be for him to get America's vote later on?)  But back to Jacee, kids got mad rhyming improv skills!


Brett Lowenstern
I got to know Brett really well at the New Orleans audition, and I really really like him.  He's flamboyant at times and a little too excited in that way that just makes you want to offer him a valium, but he really is so so sweet, as is his family.  Him reaching out to Jaycee was amazing-- and being nice to people pays off!  He found a Day 2 person and his group was left intact. Pay attention, kids!  Be kind!


Ashley Sullivan
This girl cries a lot-- the cameras have been catching her cry and scream since Day 1 so of course they know she's going to crack.  I bet you dollars to donuts they have a camera set aside JUST for her.  As the episode progresses she's falling apart.  Well, no shit, she's got a camera up her ass!  Although she totally looks like Anne Hathaway when she's tired and stressed, she should audition to be her body double somewhere.   Ashley decides to quit, camera follows her outside and is so in her face she actually asks the man to give her 5 minutes.   When the camera leaves her alone so goes back inside and is all giggles again.  It's a miracle!


Thoughts on Groups:


Brothers from Another Mother - funny guys, practiced in the bathroom, let's hope that no one feels the need to use the facilities!


The Miners - a group of 15 and 16 year olds who are young & carefree, good for them!   I can't wait to see the Mommas catfight!  At least they have someone to bring them refreshments.


(FYI James Durbin is pissed that the stage mom's are "giving them help" -- hello?  Have you HEARD the moms sing?   On top of that, you have an advantage on them because you are a grown up.  Or at least, you're supposed to be!  Also, only Steven Tyler has permission to scream randomly.  K, thanks.)


Three's Company - is composed of the couple who used to be together but "aren't anymore"  and the older blonde chick who danced through the woods with her pre-pubescent boyfriend.  Baby boy got cut so now it's just the 3 of them.  I'm really getting sick of the couple fighting though-- watching him run his fingers through her hair makes me feel just as awkward as I used to when my ex still insisted on running his fingers through my hair.  And all he does is bitch and whine and complain.  I see why she dumped him.   I'm getting ready to dump him.  And by the way-- if you want to be a happy camper at all times, DON'T JOIN YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND'S SMALL GROUP.   Duh!  I am so sick of this story and the way she manipulates him.  And they way he lets her!   She's beautiful and talented but I get the feeling she is a B. 


Not going to cover the performances or who got cut / who didn't... at this stage of the game, it's not that important.   Watch the episode if you are interested!  I'm only discussing my take and behind the scenes stuff at this point.

Spanglish -  one of the members overslept and no one went to wake him up. I almost think he did it on purpose so he could get 5 more hours of sleep than everyone else.    Someone does this every year- why haven't Idol producers caught on to it yet?  I thought they ran a tighter ship than this.  I was really sad that Jorge Gabriel got cut-- if you read the earlier blogs you'll remember that he sat next to me all throughout rounds 2 and 3-- and he was really sweet, one of the nicest people to me.   He had a propensity to get really nervous though and I guess that's what happened here--  he was obviously shaken. But he's a kid.   

Jovany Barreto is precious, and is a shipbuilder at Avondale, a local shipyard.  He took off his shirt in his audition leading me and my friends to make the joke "Avondale by day, Chippendale by night"   - I still think that's hilarious and laugh to myself everytime I see him.  He's appearing all over our local news lately so I have a very good feeling he makes it to the Top 40.

The Somebody To Love teens -  LOVED IT.   Amazing harmonies, amazing vocals.  A different spin on the song, and that Deandre Blackensick kid is SICK.   Who cares if their parents planned it for them? They delivered it.  And they had the talent!  I will watch this 10 times more before I've had enough!   *IF you watch ONE performance, make it this one*

Thoughts on Judges:
Offer warnings/advice before hand -- Lame.  I miss Simon threatening them.  Randy notices this and forces them to clap for him.  Oh, and Steven Tyler announcing who was cut incorrectly -- wow.  Just wow.  Maybe I don't miss Simon that much after all.   Oh, and after 3 times it was obvious that "forward"  meant "through"  and "back"  meant "home"...  can you mix it up a little?     At this rate, we already know that Room 1 is going through, Room 2 is going home, and Room 3 is going through.  BORING. Thoughts on Individual Singers:


Pia Toscano - really pretty.  I see now why her group mates let her sing 75% of the song.  Can't believe the two others gave up that much power,  I guess because they're both babies.

Lauren Turner - great show!  Wasn't expecting that!   Kind of sloppy and overdone towards the end, but impressive!

Girl with white tank top who I don't know what her name is because she gave all of her singing parts to Steven Tyler -- It's bad enough you're in the group with the best girl ever, Lauren Alaina, now you're giving away your 2 lines to Steven Tyler.  Smooth move, exlax!

Paris Tassin - I'm really sad about her,  she's pure New Orleans yat, absolutely gorgeous (Natlie Portman look a like),  and not through-- but I'm sure she has some type of career in front of her.   It was just the total wrong song choice for her.

Emily Ann Reed - you WILL see this girl again.  I'd buy her record tomorrow.  Trust me. I'll bet any of you.   She already has a website here:  http://emilyannereed.com/

Ashton Jones -  don't typically like her style of singing, but I love her for some reason. She's like Tyra Banks but nice and as a singer-  I predict this one will go far in the competition!

Scotty McCreery - you didn't stick up for the overweight kid?  You are the worst cowboy ever.   At least you manned up and admitted it, so some cred for that.

Stephen Clawson -  a dirty dirty cheater.  Ha.  And he kinda resembles Jesse James so that's hilarious.

Julie Zorrilla - Best dressed contestant, over and over again.

Casey Abrams - best star personality

Erin Kelley - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD - why won't they show this girl SING!?!?!   They didn't show her in New Orleans and I was SHOCKED because she was the girl I told y'all about-- she STOPPED everyone at the New Orleans audition dead in her tracks when she sang...  and they haven't shown her once.  And they purposely edited her out of the group week song!    It's obvious!  What was her 8 seconds needed for so badly?  More Steven Tyler screaming?  They edited out her critique as well?!  What gives... I'm telling you, this girl is AWESOME.  She's like a white Lauryn Hill.    Like an older JoJo.   Like... Erin Kelly.  I  don't know WTF they are planning with her-- unleashing her on us at the last minute in Top 40 week?  Or maybe they know they don't want her as a contestant so they don't want us getting attached to her?  I swear, I will find a clip of her and post it.  This has to be some type of conspiracy.   Watch it again and tell me I'm wrong. I dare you!

Thoughts on Production Tricks:

We already mentioned most of them... but, when Steven Tyler was asked to go up and sit while the Southern girls sang to him, did anyone else notice that the chair was there far in advance?   Could the producers have known about this?  Gasp!  Love how "surprised" Randy acts...

That's it!  Until next time!   (Btw, sorry for the the all underlines-- the button is stuck and won't fix.. I'll try to edit /fix it after I save/publish)  Bear with me!


Update:  underline button still stuck for stuff already posted.  Anyone else on blogspot having this issue?

xoxo,

Maria